cumsock:

put this sticker on my ass

cumsock:

put this sticker on my ass

(via toinfinityandbooyonce)

When my food delivery takes more than half an hour

lickystickypickyshe:

malformalady:

Cremation of a dead body is carried out at a temperature ranging between 1400 and 1800°F. The process takes place in a cremation chamber, also known as a retort, of a crematory. During incineration, the body is exposed to a column of flames produced by a furnace fueled by natural gas, oils, propane, etc. Next, the heat dries the body, burns the skin and hair, contracts and chars the muscles, vaporizes the soft tissues, and calcifies the bones until they crumble. The bodies are burned one at a time. Some crematories have a secondary afterburner to help burn the body completely. Otherwise, the cremation technician may have to crush the partially cremated remains. It is then collected in a tray or pan and allowed to cool. Non-organic materials, such as metal from fillings are removed before the next process because they may damage the equipment used for pulverization. Finally, the dried bone fragments are further ground into a finer sand-like consistency with a cremulator. On average, it takes about 1-3 hours to cremate a human body, thereby reducing it to 3-7 pounds of cremains. 

ok……

lickystickypickyshe:

malformalady:

Cremation of a dead body is carried out at a temperature ranging between 1400 and 1800°F. The process takes place in a cremation chamber, also known as a retort, of a crematory. During incineration, the body is exposed to a column of flames produced by a furnace fueled by natural gas, oils, propane, etc. Next, the heat dries the body, burns the skin and hair, contracts and chars the muscles, vaporizes the soft tissues, and calcifies the bones until they crumble. The bodies are burned one at a time. Some crematories have a secondary afterburner to help burn the body completely. Otherwise, the cremation technician may have to crush the partially cremated remains. It is then collected in a tray or pan and allowed to cool. Non-organic materials, such as metal from fillings are removed before the next process because they may damage the equipment used for pulverization. Finally, the dried bone fragments are further ground into a finer sand-like consistency with a cremulator. On average, it takes about 1-3 hours to cremate a human body, thereby reducing it to 3-7 pounds of cremains. 

ok……

tastefullyoffensive:

Mammo-Grahams [via]

tastefullyoffensive:

Mammo-Grahams [via]

When someone tries to explain to me how to do my taxes

hanthelion:

fileformat:

stop

OMFG.
poochcrew:

Shhh the baby is sleeping

poochcrew:

Shhh the baby is sleeping

(via tastefullyoffensive)

collegehumor:

The Ebola Czar and Other Newly Appointed Titles that DEFINITELY Won’t Incite Panic
President Obama recently appointed Rob Klain as “Ebola czar.”  Here are some other not-dramatic-sounding-at-ALL titles for future government officials that will also avoid widespread panic:
Murder King
Torture Sultan
Prince Racism
STD Comptroller
Hate Crime Provost
Dick Bursar
Volcano Pope
Hurricane Cop (starring Jackie Chan)
Executioner of Suicide Prevention
Bed Bugs Fuhrer
TSA Guard of Debauchery
ISIS UNCLE
International Debt Messiah
Blood Laureate
PRESIDENTE FOR LIFE of Nutrition and Exercise
Cancer Intern
GMO Archduke
High School Reunion Co-Chair
The All-Knowing, World-Devouring God-Emperor of Traffic Regulation

collegehumor:

The Ebola Czar and Other Newly Appointed Titles that DEFINITELY Won’t Incite Panic

President Obama recently appointed Rob Klain as “Ebola czar.”  Here are some other not-dramatic-sounding-at-ALL titles for future government officials that will also avoid widespread panic:

Murder King

Torture Sultan

Prince Racism

STD Comptroller

Hate Crime Provost

Dick Bursar

Volcano Pope

Hurricane Cop (starring Jackie Chan)

Executioner of Suicide Prevention

Bed Bugs Fuhrer

TSA Guard of Debauchery

ISIS UNCLE

International Debt Messiah

Blood Laureate

PRESIDENTE FOR LIFE of Nutrition and Exercise

Cancer Intern

GMO Archduke

High School Reunion Co-Chair

The All-Knowing, World-Devouring God-Emperor of Traffic Regulation

tastefullyoffensive:

[chuckwagon35]

(Source: terrorkion, via stand)

australian-horror-storry:

friend: hey i’ll be at your house in 5 minutes i hope you’re ready!

me:

image

(via stand)

literallysokka:

itsramez:

please be courteous this 4th. of July if you have a veteran in your neighborhood 

This is something very very important which I’ve never thought about until now

literallysokka:

itsramez:

please be courteous this 4th. of July if you have a veteran in your neighborhood 

This is something very very important which I’ve never thought about until now

(via nurseeyeroll)

nprfreshair:

"I think there are two primary jobs that a jacket has to do: It has to represent a text and it has to sell it. In a way, a book jacket … is sort of like a title that an author comes up with. It’s one thing that has to speak to a big aggregate thing, which is the book itself. And it has to be compelling in some way such that you’re interested enough to pick it up — and perhaps buy it. … It’s like a billboard or an advertisement or a movie trailer or a teaser. …

I think of a book jacket as being sort of like a visual reminder of the book, but … it’s also a souvenir of the reading experience. Reading takes place in this nebulous kind of realm, and in a way, the jacket is part of the thing that you bring back from that experience. It’s the thing that you hold on to.”

- Peter Mendelsund, book jacket designer 

The Jacket Designer’s Challenge: To Capture A Book By Its Cover

deadtrash:

"thats not very lady-like of you"

image

(via stand)